Asking for Counsel?


If you were seeking wisdom or counsel, what questions would you ask of your spouse?

By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well advised
is wisdom. Proverbs 13:10

Scripture says a lot about pride, and none of what it says is good. James 4:6 reminds us, "God resists the proud," and the wisdom of Proverbs tells us that strife will follow us if we are proud (28:25). We're all given to prideful independence, and God has provided for our deliverance. We're reminded that He "gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

But what does humility look like? What does it sound like? Our Scripture for today points out that pride brings strife but that wisdom comes to those who are humble enough to seek counsel. In short, humility often looks and sounds like the seeking out of counsel—beginning with our marriage partners.

In marriage, the asking of exploratory questions can help us broaden our understanding of a particular marital issue and of one another. And just as important, it also opens us to receive counsel from a spouse because we have humbled ourselves enough to seek out answers. Here are samples of such questions you can ask your spouse:

  • What is one way you would like me to grow in the next year?
  • How could I pray for you in the next few months?
  • What worry do you have about how our children are developing? How can I help?
  • What is one of the most romantic times you can remember us having?
  • What do you see as the two most important challenges we face this year?
  • What strengths do you see in our relationship that you would like me to emphasize?

You will be amazed at the things you learn about yourself—and your spouse—if you have the courage to humble yourself and ask him or her these kinds of questions.

If you were seeking wisdom or counsel, what questions would you ask of your spouse?

Lord, open my heart to hear from this special partner You’ve given me.

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