Even though God is the only one who can complete us, every woman wants to hear “I love you” from someone special. Because it’s a God-given desire to want love, women can sometimes become desperate.

Then Leah said, "God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons." So she named him Zebulun (Genesis 30:20, NIV).

I have had the privilege of having coffee with a few women who trusted me enough to share their hurts. It’s heartbreaking to hear a woman say, “He said he doesn't love me” or “I just want someone to love me.”

Even though God is the only one who can complete us, every woman wants to hear “I love you” from someone special. Because it’s a God-given desire to want love, women can sometimes become desperate. If you want to know how desperate a woman can be to get love, watch the show The Bachelor. You will want to telephone the female contestants and say, “You are worth more than this! Stop acting so desperate!”

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

The story of Leah is about a woman who desperately wanted love, too. Leah and Rachel were sisters and Laban’s daughters. Jacob fell in love with Rachel, so he struck a deal with Laban: “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel” (Genesis 29:18, NIV). Laban accepted Jacob’s agreement. But, when it was time for Jacob to marry Rachel, Laban deceived Jacob and gave him Leah instead.

Leah always knew that Jacob didn’t love her, but she still wanted his affection. Can you imagine being married to someone who didn’t love you but loved your sister?

God showed mercy to Leah and gave her children, which was a big deal. In her culture, children were a blessing from God because a man continued his genealogy through them. And, it was an extra blessing if you had sons. Leah gave Jacob six. She chose a name for each one that expressed her longing to be loved. She was certain children would make her husband love her.

But you cannot make someone love you.

Leah never won the heart of Jacob, and unfortunately her self-worth depended on his love and how many children she had. When we depend on something or someone for our self-worth, we might as well try to hold the wind in our hands. Our self-worth must come from Christ.

The more Leah tried to be like Rachel, the more miserable she became. Leah died knowing Jacob always loved her sister. No matter how many sons she bore him, Jacob’s heart was for Rachel.

• We cannot change people.
• We cannot make someone love us.
• We cannot find our self-worth in how we look, what we do, or what we have.

Finding the Love You’ve Been Looking For

The world tells us to find our self-worth in our looks, what we own, and the people who love us,  but none of these will ever make us feel loved or give us a healthy sense of self-worth, because circumstances change and people come and go. The only way to consistently know that you are loved is to look to the cross and see the price Jesus paid for you. He gave you everything! This perspective is the beginning of the journey to find true self-worth.

Your self-worth must be based on your position in Christ—you are a child of God! The only love that brings true happiness and contentment is God’s love. It may not be where you have been looking for love, but I can promise you from personal experience, nothing else but God’s love will satisfy.

Further Reading: Genesis 30