Are You a Helper?
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
In marriage, it is easy to lose the perspective that we are to be each other’s helpers in life…especially after children arrive on the scene. Children bring so much joy, love and happiness to a family, but they also bring a lot of work. In a mom’s world, her work is never done. Therefore, it is easy to start playing the comparison game as to who is doing the most work in the marriage concerning the children. Usually a mom will win that game, hands down, and can develop the attitude, “I’m working so hard, you are an adult, you can do things by yourself.” This type of attitude is dangerous and will normally lead to destructive patterns.
God gave us our spouse to be a companion for them, a helper, someone to “do” life with. We need to constantly remind ourselves of this truth; otherwise we will grow bitter and independent of each other. The goal in marriage isn’t to stay together as long as possible, but to stay together and still like each other after the children leave! That takes work. It takes you giving your husband attention, asking him what is going in his life, asking him how you can help him in any way. Try to resist the desire to keep score. You, as the mom, will always have changed more diapers, car-pooled to more places and sat up at night with a sick child, more than your husband will. There is no contest or competition--that’s a mom’s job. Your husband has a job too--providing for your family…that weight is a heavy burden to bear. He needs your help, if not for anything else, to encourage him and lift him up to God everyday in prayer.
I admit it--I do play the comparison game with my husband and it angers me when I feel like I’m doing all the work. Forgive me, Lord. God, help me to embrace my job as a mom and not fight against it all the time. It is hard work; yet it is very fulfilling. Help me stay focused on that truth. Also, I want to be a helper to my husband. I want to encourage him, pray for him and help him in anyway that I can. Create in us a new love for each other, so we will finish strong.