Are You a Flirt?


When seeking to please God, you shouldn’t act vain around guys and you should be careful not to intentionally turn heads.

A reader recently asked me to define flirting. “Easy!” I thought. But then I sat down to write and the words just wouldn’t flow. At first I thought I’d say that flirting was anything that causes the opposite sex to pay attention to you. But, I realized that’s not exactly right. You could be an ace basketball star, a talented singer or just a super fun girl. That might cause fellas to look your way, but it wouldn’t mean you were flirting. Then I thought I should write that flirting is tied to the way that we dress, but then I thought of some girls I know who dress very modestly but still manage to flirt. So… that isn’t it either. I thought about launching a discussion on body language, but honestly it’s too hard to come up with hard and fast rules in that area (like is it okay to hug your friends or just your dad and brothers?) So, I ditched that plan. 

I was stumped. 

Until I came across a group of gals who know a thing or two about how to flirt. Check it out. 

“The Lord says, ‘The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments on their ankles” (Isaiah 3:16).

The wording of this text is a little old school. Let’s see what we can glean from a different translation. 

“God says, ‘Zion women are stuck-up, prancing around in their high heels, making eyes at all the men in the street, swinging their hips, tossing their hair, gaudy and garish in cheap jewelry’” (The Message).

According to this passage here are some of the markers of a flirt:

  1. She is haughty (vain)
  2. She uses her body language to draw attention to herself
  3. She highlights her feminine attributes (such as hips and hair)
  4. Her clothing is showy

Why are the women of Zion mentioned in the Bible? Pay attention to how God reacts to them. “Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the Lord will make their scalps bald” (vs.17).

This passage goes on to describe how God takes away everything the women of Zion used to stir up the interest of the men around them. 

I think the women of Zion are a great cautionary tale for us. The world tells us that flirting us harmless fun but God clearly takes a different stance. 

When seeking to please God, we shouldn’t act vain around guys and we should be careful not to intentionally turn heads. 

I can’t add anything to the text here, but I was wondering if you’d let me add my two cents? I think if the Women of Zion lived among us, their use of technology might also be mentioned. They’d be the gals whose Facebook profile picture screams “Look at ME!” Their text message content would indicate that they were romantically interested in the recipient (even if they weren’t). They might also be found making jokes or discussing topics that hint at sexual content without filling in all the details. 

I know your hearts, girls. I’ve read enough of your comments to know that you value purity and desire to please God by the way that you interact with guys. I love that about you. I think that’s why you asked me to define flirting. With that in mind I want to encourage you that flirting is rarely something we do on accident. It isn’t like stumbling into a patch of poison ivy. More than likely it is a path you will choose to walk down. 

Take an honest assessment of your own behavior. Would you fit in well with the women of Zion? Do you use clothing, body language and attitude to draw attention to yourself and your femininity? If so, use their story as inspiration to change. 

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