Are We Too Future-Focused?


How can you and your boyfriend dream about the future without losing your present focus?

Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for more than a year now, and we've made a lot of plans together. We've talked about whether or not we want to go to college, where we want to live, and how many kids we want and what we'll name them. Sometimes I wonder if this dreaming is a good thing. What do you think?

A. One of the best things about this time in your life is that your future is wide open. Our dreams give us something to shoot for. They inspire us to make something of our lives, to try new things, to meet new people, and to seek God's best.

Our dreams can also cause problems if they keep us from living in the present. I would encourage you and your boyfriend to spend some time talking about the present. What do you like about each other? Why is your relationship an "on and off" thing? How do you see God at work in your relationship?

As you answer these questions, you might find there isn't much of a future for the two of you. Or you might discover that you have a deeper connection than you thought. Either way, do your best to stay in the present and keep building a healthy, strong relationship based on mutual trust, respect, care, purity, and godly love.

Written by Carla Barnhill

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