An Open Letter From a Single Girl to a Single Guy


It is important for a guy to be pursuing Jesus before he pursues a girl.

Dear Single Guy,

I’m often accused of being picky, unrealistic, and setting standards that are way too high for you.  However, I don’t think that’s true at all because I have faith in you.  I totally believe that you can be the man God created you to be.

So let’s set the record straight....

1) I do have a checklist that I’m looking for in a guy.

But there is only one thing on that list: Is he madly in love with Jesus? Relentlessly pursuing Jesus will lead you to make good decisions about your future and about how you treat me (Matt. 6:33). If you’re who Jesus wants you to be, then you’re who I want you to be.

2) I want to be pursued (Ruth 3:11, 18)!

However, pursuit does not equal spending extravagant amounts of money on fancy date nights. I just want to be pursued with intentionality. I want to know that you think about me, that you pay attention to what I say, and that you are taking the time to really get to know me. I want you to make me feel special and like I’m worth the time it took for you to plan a date.

3) I don’t need you to have all the answers and to solve all my problems.

I have a mind of my own and the Holy Spirit does live in me (John 16:13), so I can make decisions and find solutions on my own. Instead of being my problem-solver, I just need you to care about how I feel and what I’m thinking. Just taking the time to really listen lets me know you care about that.

4) I want you to lead me closer to Jesus… and I want to do the same for you.

I want my walk with Jesus to inspire you to be a godlier man rather than intimidate you (Heb. 10:24, Prov. 17:17).

5) What you say really matters (James 3:2-4).

Because I do feel things deeply, I keep a guard up with most guys in order to protect my heart. However, if you’re special and I’ve let you in, I do ask that you be careful with your words, only say what you really mean, and be honest. I want to know that I can trust what you say.

Bottom line is this: Pursue Jesus right now, so He can show you how and when to start pursuing me.

Until Then,

A Single Girl

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