An Environment of Pleasure
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. Proverbs 17:1, NIV
I (Teresa) know there will be harmony in the Ferguson home when I don't
compete with David for the role of leader. David says I have the gift of taking over, and when I'm in that mode, I "whip and drive." Believe me, that's no compliment!
I fall into the whip-and-drive mode when I'm feeling insecure over any number of issues—over finances, over what's happening with the kids, or over what David's not doing. When I fall in that mode, there will be disharmony in our home. That disharmony always filters down from the parents to the children. It affects how we adults perform in our jobs and how the kids perform in school.
When instead of falling into that whip-and-drive mode I talk to David about my fears, he helps me with those fears, and we maintain the harmony in our home. But the seemingly simple challenge of communicating my fears brings me face-to-face with an even greater obstacle: my self-reliance.
My self-reliance started in my growing-up years, when being open about my needs was not an option. David and I struggled to break my pattern of self-reliance. It wasn't easy, though. In the early years of our marriage, my husband was really no more "available" than others in my life had been. It took years for me to learn to " [speak] the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15) concerning my needs and fears rather than criticize or complain.
It's been a long journey from self-reliance to vulnerable humility, but the harmony we enjoy in our home has been worth every step.
What tendencies do you and your spouse have to overcome in order to have harmony in your marriage?
God, help us to remember that when we seek You, we’ll have peace and harmony in our home.