Am I Messing Up My Kids?
"‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.’" John 9:3 (NIV)
Okay moms, as another school year is upon us … let’s get gut-honest. Have you ever had these thoughts tug at the corners of your mind: What have I done wrong? Am I messing up my kids?
I’ve had two in-depth conversations recently with friends, and the same theme was woven throughout both conversations. Our kids sometimes struggle and when they do, often our first thought is: What have I done wrong as a mother?
Certainly good can come from a healthy assessment of how we’re doing in our crucial role as moms. However, when the question comes in the form of a personal assault rather than a call to action over a specific area of improvement, it’s not healthy.
It’s paralyzing. It’s draining. It’s defeating. It’s evidence of a hole in the spiritual filter of our minds.
So I’ve been determined to fill my mind with God’s truth. I figure the more truths I have to fill my mind with, the more untruths will get crowded out.
I’ve been taking a book of the Bible and focusing on one verse from each chapter. Then I reflect on what this verse says about God and how it speaks to me personally.
The other day, before a conversation with one of my friends, I read John 9. In that chapter, Jesus meets a man who was blind from birth. His disciples ask Him, "Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" (John 9:2b, NIV).
Then this verse jumped out at me and seemed to swirl in my thoughts constantly: "‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him’" (John 9:3).
Because this verse kept bumping into my conscious thoughts, I knew it was crucial to think on it, pray through it and let it seep into some deep places needing this truth.
Then later, when I was talking with my friend, there were little hints of that question: What have I done wrong as a mother?
What a delight it was to have that verse right on the top of my mind. Like a healing balm, I soothed my friend with the truth that what her son is going through right now has nothing to do with her mistakes or even his for that matter. God is helping her son work through some fears that will eventually be a mighty display of spiritual depth in his life.
Sweet sister, have you caught yourself asking lately, "What am I doing wrong as a mother?" Maybe it is time to make some adjustments.
Or maybe, redirect this line of thinking with a different question, How might God work in this situation so that His work can be displayed in my child’s life or in my life? Either way, remember this truth: You are loved by God and so is your child.
Dear Lord, help me process my motherhood journey using the filter of Your truth and nothing else. I need Your assurance and guidance, God. I don’t want to do this without You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (NIV)
Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)
Make progress in your understanding of the Bible with Proverbs 31 Ministries’ new mobile app, First 5. Beginning August 31, we’re unpacking the book of Genesis studying one verse per chapter per day so God’s Word doesn’t feel complicated! Download First 5 today.
Continue your First 5 journey with The Book of Genesis Experience Guide. The Experience Guide is designed to accompany each day’s teaching and grow your faith, as you reflect, respond and learn what makes the book of Genesis so unique. Purchase yours today!
REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Is there something your child has struggled with lately that made you feel like you’ve done something wrong as a mother?
Prayerfully ask God if there is anything you can do better as a mom. Also, ask Him to help you see all that you’ve done right as a mom and how to accept that some of your child’s struggles have nothing to do with your actions at all.
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