Am I a Good Mom?
Sometimes in quiet moments, a nagging question arises in my heart: Am I a good mom?
God has been telling me, "You must come to Me every single day, acknowledge your weakness, ask for My power to parent, and let me cultivate the hearts of your children."
I so badly want to be one. If there is one thing I want to do well with my kids, it's rearing them to know God's voice and love His ways. Yet, if there is an area I feel most inadequate in, it's this and every other little thing that falls under its umbrella, whether it's tying shoes or polite social interaction or how to share with one another.
Worries of Motherhood
I panic when I think of my children embarking into adulthood, typically because I imagine that they'll have to call me to come tie their shoes, or they'll freeze to death because I'm not there to remind them to wear pants and coats in the winter. I'm afraid they'll spend every waking minute in front of a video game console because I'm not there to monitor their activities.
- Will they ever walk with the Lord?
- Will they become leaders in their homes and influencers in their communities?
- Will they love people well?
I often feel powerless and overcome by the mountain in front of me. I feel like I should be better at this than I am. Or maybe it's that I feel like all these things should come easily to a "good mother," so I must not be one. I want to be one. However, what exactly is a good mother, and how do I become one?
I am so impatient with myself, so hard on myself, so quick to throw my hands up in frustration or surrender. I find myself thinking that God feels that same way toward me: impatient that I'm not further along, frustrated that I fail, irritated by my faithless worrying. Those thoughts reveal that I often perceive God as huffing at my weaknesses, wishing I could get it together already, arms crossed and foot tapping.
I Am Weak. He Is Strong.
He's been talking to me about this. Some of it has been conviction. All of it has been hope-filled. The main point that He is driving into my heart over and over and over is that I cannot manage my life, I cannot control or change my children at the heart level, and I cannot work hard enough to produce men of valor. I am weak.
But He hasn't stopped there. He continues to impress upon my heart: "My power is made perfect in weakness. You must come to Me every single day, acknowledge your weakness, ask for My power to parent, and let me cultivate the hearts of your children."
This is so what I want: to know deep in my soul that a good mother is not one who bakes intricate treats, who schools a certain way, who manages her household within an inch of its life, or who has her children in a million wonderful activities. A good mother is one that acknowledges her need for the power of God to train and teach and change the hearts of her children.
The most important thing I can do for my children each day is to trust God and acknowledge my weakness, not rely on myself.
He will take my meager offering and turn it into a miracle.
Have you acknowledged your weaknesses and God's power today?
By Christine Hoover
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