All I’ve Ever Wanted
I drank the verses slowly, letting them swirl around in my heart like the velvet coffee in my mouth.
I was warmed by both.
“Remain in me,” Jesus said, “and I will remain in you,” (John 15:4).
It took only moments for me to realize that’s all I’ve ever wanted… from anyone.
A promise to be there.
Not to depart.
To hold me… keep me… continually.
This chronic need for security, it can be met in Him…and only Him.
“If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing,” Jesus continued. “If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers…” (John 15:5-6).
I have known the withering. And I have born fruit when I’ve lingered long in the Lord’s love.
But the fruit is not what I’m after, if I’m honest.
The fruit is temporary. Each piece transforms from a seed into its ripened form… then it’s let go… the ministry, the student, the child. All are but momentary evidences of the Lord working through us. But they aren’t meant to stay. They’re meant to go and produce more fruit.
No, I am not after fruit.
I’m after the Vine.
I aim to remain in Him so that He will remain in me. I want Him to stay, no matter what it takes or what it costs me. I. Need. Him. Without Him, I can do nothing.
There’s only One person who can be needed this much and not fail us.
There’s only One person who can deliver on the promise to remain with us always.
There’s only One person who can be the object of this degree of neediness in a healthy way.
There’s only One person who can hold us… and keep us… continually.
And that One person? He wants us to do the same for Him.
Jesus wants us to remain in Him… not because He needs us… just because He loves us.
He wants us, whom He loves, to love Him… to abide in Him… not to depart from Him… but to hold Him… to keep Him… continually.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.
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