Africa Bound

Steve and I are heading to Africa for five weeks. I’ll be honest: I’m nervous. Not about being in Africa but about leaving my kids behind. I don’t think they're nervous about their parents being far away for so long. Secretly, I think they feel relieved that I can’t text as often now.

But here’s the thing: mothering never stops. That’s why I didn’t want to be a mother. I knew it was 24/7 until you die. My heart and mind are continuously directed towards my kids. And yes, they are young adults who are capable and enabled. But the thing about mothering is their every hurt, insecurity, excitement, adventure and fears live with you.  

This is my first year as an “empty nester.” It hasn’t been a huge transition. I was never a helicopter mom. I always had plenty of things happening in my own world. And yet, here I am, realizing how absorbed my mind has been in my kids' lives lately. I worry about their choices and/or lack of choices. I fret over their relationships and/or lack of relationships.

And, that’s probably not good because it means I’ve stopped entrusting them to God. Have you ever had that realization? Suddenly you become aware that you have taken your kids out of God’s care and entrusted them to yourself? How did you discover it? One thing I know is, it’s not a good thing. So perhaps my going to Africa is God’s way of removing me so He can have the space (that I’ve been crowding) to speak to them. So, off we go...