ABC's of Being "Spiritually Single"


These A-B-C's will help a “spiritually single” woman respond biblically to her circumstances of being married to a non-Christian or a man of another faith.

What does “spiritually single” mean?  A “spiritually single” woman is a Christian wife who is “going it alone” either because her husband is a “pre-Christian” (unbeliever) or is a believer who is not living what he believes. These A-B-C's will help a “spiritually single” woman respond biblically to her circumstances. 


Abiding:  Jesus said, “ I have loved you, [just] as the Father has loved Me ; abide in My love [continue in His love with Me ]” (John 15:9 AMP ). To abide in Jesus is to have love and peace in your heart and home. We are called to be peacemakers, including living in peace with those in our home. 

Accepting: “For in acceptance, there lies peace.”—Jennifer Kennedy Dean (He Restores My Soul, page 57).  Accepting your husband for who is—without trying to change him—is the best way to love him.

Ambassador: The Apostle Paul said, “ We are Christ's ambassadors …” ( 2 Corinthians 5:20 NLT ).  Corrie ten Boom said, “Father, I am happy to serve as Your ambassador, secure in the authority that supports me. Thank You that I stand in Your ability” (Each New Day, 2-15).  Are you praying “Save me,” or “Use me”? Jesus said, “… What shall I say, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour” (John 12:27 NIV ). Purpose (decide) to be a deliberate Ambassador! 


Beware: “ For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 NLT ). Guard your heart. Beware of the Dangerous “D’s”—Desire, Deservedness, Doubts, and Disappointment, which lead to Depression, Despair, and Denial.

Believe:  Jesus Christ, our deliverer, is also our redeemer, restorer, and rescuer, and is more powerful than the devil. Believe that with Jesus all things are possible! Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible " (Matthew 19:26 NLT ). 

Be bold: Don’t hold back from sharing with your husband what God is teaching you, but do it lovingly and without expectation! 


Concentrate:  Focus on what you are thankful for, who you need to be, and on who God is.  Marcia Mitchell wrote, “Maybe you need to quit looking at the lack of results in your marriage and take a closer look at your faith in God’s promises” (Spiritually Single, page 63).

Contentment:   Circumstances can affect your happiness, but inner joy (contentment) comes from knowing who we are in Jesus Christ.  The Apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11 NLT ).

Celebrate the truth that you have HOPE! “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” ( Romans 15:13 NLT ).

Adapted from material by Lynn Niedenthal, presented at Calvary MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), Grand Rapids, March 15, 2007

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