A Matter of Focus


Will you focus on your spouse's positive qualities so that you can be happier in your marriage?

By a sad countenance the heart is made better. Ecclesiastes 7:3

I (Teresa) am convinced that my happiness is purely a state of mind—a matter of where I put my focus. If I focus on what I don't have or what isn't happening in my life, then I will be unhappy. On the other hand, if I focus on what I do have and what is happening, then I will be happy.

Many women have confessed to me that they're just not happy in their marriages. When they do, I ask them if their focus has been on the things God would have it be on. The apostle Paul put it this way: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, what­ever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Philippians 4:8).

When I feel the need to refocus on the positives of my marriage, I look at the truth of Romans 8:32: "He who did not spare His own Son, ... how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"

Meditating on this truth helps me to guard my heart from negative attitudes toward David. Since God freely gave me His Son and promises to freely give me all things, I can rest in the assurance that He has given me a husband who is everything He knows I need.

As I think on these things, my heart is filled with gratitude for David and for the God who sent him to me. I am then free to see David for all the wonderful things he is and not worry about what he isn't.

What things in your spouse can you begin focusing on in order to make yourself happier in your marriage?

Father, help us to take our thoughts captive and think only on things that will build up.

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