A Gentle Response Shows Your Love


Gentleness communicates love. Not only is it the key to an effective marriage, but also to effective parenting.

“Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them.” (Colossians 3:19 NCV)

Gentleness diffuses conflict. It disarms critics. It’s persuasive. It’s attractive. And gentleness communicates love.

Guys, if you’re married, the quickest way to improve your marriage is to start talking to your wife more gently. It’ll do wonders! Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them” (NCV). Any fool can be selfish. Any fool can be rough. Any fool can be rude. But gentle men are gentlemen.

A great marriage is simply the union of two great forgivers, because you’re going to hurt each other a lot in life. I’ve been married to Kay for nearly 40 years. I’ve hurt her so many times, and she’s hurt me so many times. But we’re both great forgivers. That’s a part of gentleness.

Gentleness is not only the key to effective marriage; it’s also the key to effective parenting. Never discipline out of anger or frustration, but always gently and out of love. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger … but rear them tenderly in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord” (AMP).

I can honestly say to you that I never remember my father raising his voice against me growing up. Was he ever upset with me? Of course. Did I ever really blow it and give him every reason to be angry? Many, many times. Almost on a daily basis! But he was a gentle man. He had strength under control, and he would not yell at me. He showed me his love through his gentle nature.

Let your gentle response do the same in your relationships.

Talk It Over

  • Make it a point to respond in gentleness to your spouse and children this week. What difference does it make?
  • How does gentleness communicate love to someone? What does it say to that person when you choose to respond gently?
  • Is it important to you to be known as a gentle person? Why or why not?

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