A Formula for Loneliness


Have you ever been in a room full of people and commotion, yet you could not feel more alone? If your answer is yes, here's some encouragement.

Have you ever been in a room full of people and commotion, yet you could not feel more alone? If your answer is yes, let me tell you I more than understand.

As I walked into my first day of my senior year, I couldn’t have felt more by myself. We’re given all these expectations as we go into these years: “It’ll be the best years of your life” or “You’ll fit in perfectly with your own little group.”  But where was my “group”? Why was I the oldest around but still felt like the smallest?

So, what if we don’t feel all this excitement? I struggle a lot with feeling like there is some type of formula to life that someone just forgot to tell me about. Am I doing something wrong? Because high school has not been a box of chocolates for me.

To feel lonely; it may sound like such a mild thing but it isn’t. What drives people to follow the crowd? To blend in, instead of being their own person? It’s this fear of loneliness and rejection. As hard as this idea has been to swallow, I’ve come to realize that at this stage in life, if I stick out from the crowd that is—in fact—a good thing. The pain you feel today you will thank yourself for tomorrow. Whether it’s social media, your friends or maybe your parents, we as kids are told to just go with the crowd, to fit in. But that’s not what I see going on in the Bible.

God created warriors who were willing to stand up, who believed in Him enough to know that He was the one who had the final answers. They recognized this world for what it truly was, and knew that it was not worth surrendering to.

Not one person on this earth craves anything more than love and acceptance. We are programmed like this; it’s what keeps us going. We don’t want to be rejected because the idea of being on the outside, being away from the crowd is, to many teenagers, their worst nightmare. I encourage you, in your times of loneliness, to remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Speak life into yourself. Remember – you are not alone at all. Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV) Not only is He with us, but also He is fighting for us.

In my times of loneliness, I have felt like God is nowhere to be seen. Looking back, I see not only was He there, but He was walking along right beside me, feeling my pain and my burdens. This topic is exceptionally challenging for our age group, considering every waking moment we are faced with decisions that shape our character. In the hurtful situations of our lives, God can use us for the glory of His kingdom. Through my loneliness, I’ve learned to cling to the only stable person that has always been in my life, Jesus. Next time I want to unpack this idea of vulnerability, and how we can use this “bad” word in today’s society: use it for our own benefits!  As we go into another school year, let’s remember who always walks alongside us. He is more than enough.

Written by Madi Cowell

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