5 Truths for Raising Confident Girls in Today's Culture


Brenda Yoder offers advice on how to raise girls to develop a Christ-centered confidence that sustains them when others tell them what their identity and worth should be.

Another school year’s starting. As I look into the eyes of my ten to twelve year-old students, I see girls growing into who God’s created them to be. It’s an exciting time as they transition from childhood to adolescence, finding out who they are and who they’ll become.

How do you raise confident girls in today’s culture? How do girls develop a Christ-centered confidence that sustains them when others tell them what their identity and worth should be? Here are 5 truths girls (and women) need to know about developing confidence centered in Christ.

There is nothing inferior about you because you’re a girl. You’ll hear comments that someone does something “like a girl.” It quietly says you’re less than your male siblings or classmates. You’re not. Your value is completely in who God has created you to be, not in what others think about your gender.

If someone rejects you or doesn’t give you a chance because you’re a girl, don’t take it personally. It’s their problem, not yours. As much as the world tells you men and women have equality in the workforce, in society or in church, there are discrepancies. Don’t be discouraged or alarmed if you’re discriminated against because of your gender. It’s not God’s perfect plan. As you seek Him to open doors, His ways will prevail. Lean into God when people disappoint you. He cares about you.

There’s a difference in having a confident appearance and being “hot.” I won’t tell you beauty doesn’t matter in middle and high school because it’s part of life’s game. So find your style and what you feel comfortable wearing and wear it with confidence – this makes you attractive and beautiful.

Boys may be intimidated by confident girls, but don’t change who you are because of it. It’s just the way it is, but it’s not God’s design.

Jesus wants to be your first love before a boy, husband, or anyone else. As you get to know Christ intimately and how crazy He is about you, your confidence will be rooted in Him. Confidence doesn’t come in performing or doing good things, but in resting in how much He loves you. As you learn to love Jesus first, the other things in your life will fall into place and you’ll be free from insecurities that pull you down.

Jesus loves you immensely. He is lover of your soul and is crazy about you. That’s a confidence you won’t find anywhere else.

What have you struggled with in developing confidence as a teen girl or mom? How have you overcome obstacles?

Written By Brenda Yoder

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