20 Things I'd Do Over in Raising Girls


Brenda Yoder shares with us 20 things that she was glad she did in raising her daughter and 20 things she would do over.

I often share my testimony with women about my almost-near disastrous relationship with my only daughter. Five years ago I made hard decisions to change my lifestyle and behavior so I could salvage our relationship when she was a teen. She’s a recent college graduate whose heart and desire is for the Lord. God has worked His grace and power in our home and family.

I’ve shared a lot of things with moms of girls over the years – young moms exasperated with small kids, moms raising preteens fearful of the path their daughter might take, and moms in the trenches with teen girls. Here are twenty things I often share that I’m glad I did in raising a girl, and twenty things I would do over.

20 Things I’d Do Again

  • Be a stay at home mom to watch her grow
  • Have tea parties
  • Play dress ups
  • Read books to her
  • Take her to parks
  • Sing to her
  • Have play dates
  • Lay beside her bed and pray for her when she’s sleeping
  • Take her to museums
  • Take her on a road trip
  • Be honest about my life when she asked hard questions
  • Have her dad intervene when she wouldn’t listen to me
  • Have her dad date her when other girls had boyfriends
  • Tell her dad what girls need to hear
  • Write her notes when she wouldn’t listen to me
  • Make time for her even when exhausted
  • Talk to her about sex at age-appropriate levels
  • Stay up late when she wanted to talk
  • Stand firmly even when it hurt
  • Hold her loosely

20 Things I Would Do Over

  • Trusted God earlier
  • Trusted God more often
  • Walked away more
  • Let her and her brothers work things out more often
  • Given her space when she demanded it
  • Realized some things are just that way, and it’s okay
  • Bit my tongue more
  • Realized earlier in her life that she’s not me
  • Listened more
  • Lectured less
  • Prayed more
  • Practiced more patience
  • Told her I was proud of her
  • Given up my rights to have the last word
  • Appreciated her more
  • Encouraged her more
  • Shown her unconditional respect
  • Given more grace
  • Hugged her more
  • Held her just one more time

We all have things we wish we could do over. Having a relationship with Jesus Christ makes do overs possible no matter what stage of parenting we’re in. His power also provides wisdom for things we happen to get right.

Somewhere between tea parties and tiaras, little girls grow up. What are things you’ve learned in raising girls, no matter their age? What are things you’re glad that you’ve done? What would you do over in raising girls?

Written By Brenda Yoder

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