The Kindness Challenge with Shaunti Feldhahn

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Think of your toughest relationship. Think of a relationship that is good but could be great. Whether it is a romantic partner, co-worker, child, sibling, or your hard-to-please in-law, you can transform any relationship. How? By intentionally applying true, biblical kindness every day.

At the most basic level, kindness is made up of three things: withholding unkindness, verbally saying kind things, and doing kind and generous things.

Simple, right? Not so much. Most people far overestimate how kind they really are -- and have no idea how often unkindness slips out.

In the days ahead, as you read this content, consider how Christ modeled kindness and instructed us to do the same. When a relationship is challenging, for example, it is crucial to look at the other person through Christ's eyes; to see them as He sees them. As we do, we will see their positive attributes and contributions, not just their shortcomings. When we speak, we will express words of affirmation to them rather than unintentionally tearing them down. And we will be generous with the little things that say "you're valuable" -- whether that is our time, our undivided attention, or the very last piece of chocolate cake.

We need a training ground to become people of true kindness -- and our research identified a great opportunity. In parallel with this study, we strongly suggest that you consider taking The iDisciple 30-Day Kindness Challenge.

Here's how it works. Pick one person with whom you want to improve your relationship. Then each day for thirty days; say nothing negative about that person (either to them or about them to someone else!), intentionally praise them (to them and to someone else!) and do at least one little act of generosity for them. You can see more and sign up here, and receive extra support, tips, and coaching. In my research, 89% of those who took the Challenge improved their relationships. Because, in the end, kindness most transforms us.

This growth plan is based on The Kindness Challenge: 30 Days to Improve Any Relationship by Shaunti Feldhahn.

01 01

Why Your Kindness to ONE Person Can Change the World

We’ve all bemoaned that incivility has reached epic proportions, but our culture isn't going to fix itself. Instead, we are sent by God to be agents of change.
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02 02

Two Things You Need to Know About Yourself

We can’t truly be people of kindness until we confront the fact that we’re not yet there.
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03 03

The Hidden Truth About Venting

The next time you find yourself calling a friend to complain or venting around the water cooler, stop yourself—it's not going to make you feel better! Instead, resolve to live a life of grace, even when others are harsh.
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04 04

A Habit of Affirmation

In the end, our praise keeps others going—but it also keeps us going. Thankfully, if we'll begin to offer out-loud praise, the rewards will be so great that we can easily build a true habit.
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05 05

6 Ways Sarcasm Steals Joy

Are you naturally inclined toward sarcasm? It's fine to keep your funny bone, but here are six reasons why you should cut back on the zingers.
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06 06

15 Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage (and It's Not What You Think It Is!)

It turns out, a targeted effort to be kind to your spouse will make a huge difference to every aspect of your marriage, including... drum roll, please... your sex life!
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07 07

The Key to Kindness and Joy: Looking for Whatever Is Worthy of Praise

When we get upset, the key to unlocking joy and kindness is what we think in the very next moment.
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