Being a mother has its rewards. Small rewards—like uninterrupted nap time, and big ones—like children who grow into God-loving, responsible adults. But what about those times in between, when all you see is how you’ve asked them ten times to do a chore, or how you’ve cried yourself to sleep praying about their decisions? You wonder if they hear you, or if you are even making a difference.
You might not always see the rewards of your work as a mother in your family’s day-to-day life, but that shouldn’t discourage you. Today, discover why the little things you do for your children really do make a difference in their lives, even if they never tell you so.
"Are You Making a Difference?" by Sherry Surratt
Mothering my two kids, Mike and Brittainy, has been the single most rewarding experience of my life. But there were moments, while my kids were growing up, when I wondered if I was making any difference.
Were they listening to my words about sharing as Mike snatched the cereal box away from Brittainy who responded with a quick punch to his head and ran for cover? Those were the moments—standing in the middle of the kitchen amidst a sea of dirty dishes and crumbs—when I dreamed of moving to Australia. Why Australia? Because it was the farthest place away I could think of. If you've ever dreamed of running away, know you’re in good company.
I often wondered: Was I raising kids with character or two little brats? Many, many times I shook my head in frustration. How many times would I have to say, “Be kind to each other instead of hurling insults while you’re at the breakfast table.”
I remember a conversation with a dear friend, a mom of three boys, including a set of rambunctious twins. She talked about how, once, when her boys were supposed to be quietly resting in their rooms, she discovered they had removed a bedroom door from its hinges. She felt the anger rising up in her throat and for a moment couldn't decide whether to yell or cry or do both. These words ran through her head: These are my kids. No one else can mother them like I can.
My wise friend knew two things that have helped me throughout my years of being a mom.
You’re not just parenting for today. It’s often hard (and scary) to look past the preschooler to the young adult your child will become. The things you do today are not just making the snapshot of who your child is now, they’re building the portrait of who they will be in the future. It’s easy as a mom to get caught up in socks, shoes, toys and snacks and forget that the moments of daily routine are golden opportunities to instill character, responsibility, thankfulness and a cheerful heart. What kind of adult will your child be? You get to have a big say in that, Mom.
The little things you do matter. I remember sitting on the edge of my son’s bed one night before he went to sleep, noticing a crumpled napkin with my handwriting on it near his pillow. I had gotten in the habit of writing little notes such as “I love you” or “I’m praying for you” and tucking them in the lunch that he took to preschool. At age 4, he wasn't really reading yet, but was in love with the idea. He had never mentioned the notes, so I thought he hadn't noticed or was embarrassed that I had written them. When I pointed to the napkin, he said, “I’m keeping that one. It’s my favorite.”
Mom, your children are paying attention even when all evidence points to the contrary. You are making a difference during those times you reach deep to call on that last shred of patience to make a wise decision. I can see that difference in my adult children. Our son is a youth pastor and a father. He has grown into a man who brings tears of joy to my eyes. Our daughter is a creative and talented musician who makes my heart burst with pride when I watch her lead worship.
The Bible encourages us, “So, let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9, NLT).
Lord, help me to remember that what I do is good and important. Encourage me to keep doing good, and let me see a harvest of blessing in this work You have given me.
Are there things I’ve stopped doing or saying because I thought no one cared? How can I start doing those things again?
Start doing little things for your kids, things they may not notice or thank you for, like sticking a note in their lunch or putting their shoes and socks away for them. Then keep it a secret as an act of worship to God.
You might not see the difference you make for your kids on a daily basis, but you can be sure that God does. A big part of your job as a mom is to help mold your children into who God designed them to become and to keep at it because it matters. Next time, you will learn how important mothers are in the lives of their children.