Okay ladies, it's your turn to gain some insight into your man. When you understand what makes him tick—and what makes him know you love him—you will deepen your appreciation for him, and therefore strengthen your relationship. You have learned that men want respect above all else, but what exactly does this look like? How can you show it? Today's post will teach you how to show respect for your man in a way that he will truly appreciate.

"Why Husbands Need Stickers" by Ted Lowe

My 10-year-old son plays football and one of the things he loves most about it is receiving helmet stickers. As a pregame ritual, players receive small, skull stickers for the exceptional plays they made in the previous game. Each week, when my son receives one or two stickers, the look on his face is priceless.

The use of stickers to motivate doesn’t stop in elementary school; many colleges still use them. For example, Georgia Bulldog players get bone stickers. If you think about it, it seems a little silly grown men, playing arguably the most physically brutal sport ever created, are still motivated by—stickers. Really? Yes, absolutely!

Here’s why. . .

• Helmet stickers are specific. Men like to know exactly what they have done well.
• Helmet stickers are visible. Men like to be recognized in front of others for what they have done well.
• Helmet stickers are honoring. Men like “important” people to acknowledge what they have done well.

Ladies, your husband’s need for “stickers” didn’t stop after college. His heart still greatly desires to be specifically, visibly, and honorably recognized—especially by you! This is why the Bible repeatedly tells wives to respect their husbands.

Ephesians 5:33 says, “…the wife must respect her husband.” I know that many women don’t like the word “respect". They feel the command to respect their husbands somehow means they are less significant than their men. But as Webster’s says, it simply means, “to esteem a person, a personal quality or ability.” That’s it. He just wants you to esteem his special qualities and abilities. He wants a sticker!

So, what would it look like if you gave your husband relational stickers that were specific, visible, and honoring? If he is out of work maybe he needs you to write him a note that specifically says why you think he is great at what he does. Maybe, he needs you to tell him—with a big kiss—that you still think he’s hot. Maybe he needs to hear you tell your kids the reasons why you think they have a great dad.

Ladies, your husband probably won’t say, “Thank you for affirming my soul and character.” But, make no mistake about it, affirming him, specifically, visibly and honorably is a great way to draw him to you.

Pray
God, it is so easy to be critical of one another instead of lifting each other up. Help us learn how to be specific, visible, and honoring to one another both in private and in public.

Reflect
Do I give my spouse “stickers”? Am I specific, visible, and honoring towards my mate?

Respond
Buy some stickers for each other, and get in the habit of sharing them. Give each other a sticker with a specific word or sentence that honors what your mate means to you.

Men don’t need a whole lot of conversation or hand-holding, but they do love their “stickers.” But women love their “stickers,” too! When they demonstrate love and understanding to each other in ways that are specific, visible, and honoring, they become more compassionate—and therefore better able to meet each other’s needs. In the next post, discover how to survive a marriage meltdown by learning to understand your mate’s perspective.