To understand your mate, you must begin by understanding what motivates his or her actions and reactions. Men and women respond differently to love cues, fights, and to life in general. Women, for example, usually respond with emotions whereas men usually react with action. Today, we will start unraveling how a man can better understand his wife by examining how her emotions affect her.

"A Woman's Emotions" by Barbara Rainey

Early in our marriage, my husband Dennis and I were completely caught off guard by the emotions I began feeling. I remember the first time I was angry with Dennis. I had never felt angry with him the entire time we dated, were engaged, or in the early days of our marriage.

I remember thinking, What do I do? Where do I go? Dennis was pursuing me to resolve our conflict, and I was so confused that I went into the bathroom, shut the door and thought, I can't get out of here. I'm stuck in this relationship.

I held the future of my marriage and my family in my hands.

We know we are created in the image of God, but many of us don't realize our emotions are a significant part of God's image imprinted within us. Women need to feel comfortable with who they are emotionally.

And this isn't easy, because many women aren't prepared to anticipate or handle the difficult challenges that are a part of being a wife and mother. Each new season of life—early marriage, pregnancy, raising young children, etc.—brings a new set of joys and difficulties, and many women are surprised by the intensity of their emotions.

As a woman experiences the various emotions in her daily life, she needs to feel loved and accepted by her husband. We are made in the emotional image of God; we shouldn't be afraid of those emotions when they crop up.

When I faced that early crisis in my marriage, I decided my relationship, which was a covenant I'd made to God, was too important not to work it out. So after stewing and thinking and praying, I left that bathroom. After some real communication, Dennis and I resolved the problem.

The next time you find your emotions have you feeling "stuck" in your marriage, don't stew in a bathroom. Talk it out. Resolve the conflict. Why? Because God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship, a safe haven, in which a man and woman can work through their emotions and glorify God in the process.

Pray
God, You understood how much Adam needed Eve to bring balance to his life. Help us see that our emotions are a good thing in our relationship, and help us use them to better understand one another, instead of using them as fodder for a fight.

Reflect
Do we stuff our emotions; or worse, do we hide from them? Or do we acknowledge and discuss our conflicts so that we can resolve them?

Respond
Discuss how emotions play a role in your experiences and devise ways to better acknowledge and manage them.

Emotions are tied to everything a woman thinks and does. Feelings like love, anger, compassion, and sensitivity play a role in every response she has. And this is why feeling loved is so important to her. A husband may not be able to relate to his wife’s emotions, but trying to understand those emotions demonstrates his love. In the same way, a wife may not understand why her husband reacts as he does, but she can at least try to see where he is coming from. The next post will help women understand what makes a man tick.