It can be heartbreaking to realize that the person you’re with is not the one you should marry; other times, it can be a relief. But the bottom line is, if you’re not going to marry the person you’re dating, then you’ll need to break up with him/her. And that’s okay. It may be hard, but it will be the right thing to do. Once you realize that you should break up, you must go ahead and do it. And if someone breaks up with you, then you must accept it. After the breakup comes the task of recovering. Today’s post offers some great tips to help you heal after a breakup.

"Breaking Up is Hard to Do" by Erin Davis

Here are a few tips to breaking up with grace:

Don't jump right in to a new relationship.

Rebound relationships are fairly common. But they usually aren't a good idea. By rushing right in to a new relationship, you might be tempted to compromise your standards. Instead, spend some time digging into the Word to see what standards God has for your future spouse. (Check out Titus 1:5–9 to get started.)

Do ask God to bring someone into your life in His timing.

Ask God to show you what kind of person He would like you to link your heart to. Write out a list of the qualities you most want in your future husband or wife. Pray for God to bring you a man or woman who is a good match for you in His timing. You can trust Him. Here's proof.

Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary (Isaiah 40:31).

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Don't self-destruct.

I've seen breakups serve as the catalyst for a number of dangerous behaviors in the lives of young women and men I know. Cutting, drinking, purging, overeating, undereating, and rage are a few of the behaviors I see most often.

I know that breakups hurt. But making the choice to self-destruct only makes things much, much worse.

First Thessalonians 5:16–18 urges us, Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Make the choice to live out your faith even when your heart is broken.

Do find someone to talk to.

If feel like you are unable to move on after a breakup, reach out to a wise Christian adult for help. There is no shame in asking for wise guidance and support. It is also okay to seek out a Christian counselor. Don't feel silly or embarrassed or ashamed. Ask for help and keep asking until the break starts to mend.

Take it from someone who's been there—your heart won't hurt forever. It is my prayer that while you are healing, you will cling to the promises God already offers you.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).

Read
Isaiah 40:31, 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, & Psalm 147:3

Pray
God, You are the fulfiller of my life. Today, I seek Your healing for my heart. It’s always hard when a relationship ends, but I know that You have something even better in store for me. Until then, please comfort me with Your Word and Your presence.

Reflect
After a breakup, do I jump into another relationship quickly, or am I giving myself enough time to heal while I wait for God’s timing?

Respond
When a relationship ends, be strong in the Lord; don’t jump into another relationship, and don’t self-destruct. Instead, ask God for His direction. If your hurt is deep, find a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend with whom to talk.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. But with God’s direction and healing, you can be confident that you will survive your broken heart. It may take time, but as long as you lean on the Lord, you will bounce back. Until then, continue to build your relationship with Him because that is one relationship that will never break down. Cultivating your relationship with God will help you to know what to do when you do find The One. Find out how in our next post.