Your job as a mom is a big one, but it is not part of your job to live your child’s life for him or her. Allow your child to fail. Through pain and failure, we grow as people.

Romans 14:12

Each one shall give an account of himself to God.

Mothers are nurturers by nature. We were created to love, nurture, provide for and encourage our children. God placed these desires and talents in us. However, as moms, we can take this nurturing nature to a different level and we can, in fact, begin to manipulate and control our children’s lives.  When we try to control and manipulate, we start going down a slippery slope in motherhood. 

Instead of training up a child, we form a dictatorship with our child. We tell ourselves that our son/daughter will not make wise choices, so we need to “help” them. By operating this way, we are doing our child a disservice. Yes, children will make mistakes. Yes, they will make unwise choices, but people learn through failing. Allow your child to fail.  Allow your child to experience the pain and consequences of a bad choice. Through pain and failure, we grow as people. If your child never fails, he may never learn to stand on his own two feet.

The most important thing to remember about the danger of this way of thinking is that one day, in heaven, “each one shall give an account of himself to God.” One day, your child will stand alone in front of God, and you as the mom will not be able to weigh in on your child’s life. Are you preparing your child for that day? Are you teaching your child today that his actions have consequences? That what he sows he will reap? If you are not, you should. 

Your job as a mom is a big one, but it is not part of your job to live your child’s life for him. You can, however, instruct your child on the way he “should” live and then step back and allow your child to make his own choices. 

Prayer:

Father, Give me courage to allow my child to stand alone.  When I feel the urge to constantly correct and use teachable moments, remind me that my child will one day stand alone to give an account of his life.  Lord, pursue my child and draw him closer to you; teach him Your ways.  Give me what I need to be a nurturing mom but not a controlling mom.