God calls each of us to the cross in order for all the things that are alive in our flesh to die. Daily we are invited by the enemy of our souls to love ourselves and come away from the cross.
What are the signs that you have come off the cross? When you are overly concerned with appearance, you have come off the cross. When the words of others cause you to react and defend, you have come off the cross. When you strive to have your world in perfect order, you have come off the cross. When you complain about circumstances, you have come off the cross.
The way of the cross means letting go and letting God have His way in every matter, every relationship, every outcome.
"When God starts to deal with the old nature He heads straight for the center of all that you hold most dear. Allow Him to bring you to the cross in the very center of who you are. Don't grumble and become agitated when the process starts. Silence and peace will help you much more than being upset. To bear the cross simply, without letting your self-love add all sorts of dilemmas to it, will make your life easier. When you accept the cross simply allow it to do the work God intended, you will be happy because you will see what good fruit is produced in you."* Those were the words of Francois de Fenelon, a man who lived in the 1600s and was considered one of the most godly men of his time.
The apostle Paul sums up the way of the cross: "For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body" (Phil 3:18-21).
Let the cross have its way in you.
*Francois de Fenelon 100 Days in the Secret Place, Destiny Image Publishers, Shippensburg, PA p. 24 2001