I always heard college is the best four years of your life. I began my freshman year at Ole Miss hoping to prove this statement as fact—I would experience all the fun one girl could handle. I quickly discovered that the road traveled by most students is one promising “life,” but full of regret. The same party scene happens at every college in America: tons of alcohol, random hook-ups, and the pressure on girls to achieve the perfect look. It's is fun for a moment, but maintaining the high proves a vicious cycle. Chasing the next boy and the next buzz leads to a prison of regret. As the chase continues, piece-by-piece of one’s identity is lost.
Sounds like I’m speaking from experience? I am. Night after night of partying, I’d awake in an unfamiliar place and nursing a nasty hangover. Nonetheless, I had the best stories to tell my sorority house. Everyone counted on me to have a “good time.” My identity was “the party girl.” Even though I boasted of fun, I’d wake up empty. Ironically, in chasing after life and freedom, I lost both. I felt like I didn't have a choice. I wasn't free. If I didn't go out at night and party… then who was I?
Here’s the part of my story that may surprise you: I was a Christian. Yep, my parents raised me in Church. As a kid, I placed faith in Christ. My misery was due to the fact that my lifestyle grieved God. Yet, changing my lifestyle seemed impossible! How was I supposed to go against the norm at college? Take away my “party girl” status, and you were taking away my identity. I knew I needed to change. But how?
Struggling with this dilemma, I attended a conference featuring Marian Jordan. Although I probably attended for all the wrong reasons, God still captured my heart and I fell in love with Jesus! I finally understood why I was never going to find life in things I was chasing. Life and love are only found in Him. I knew I couldn't continue to live a divided life. I couldn't continue to pursue the things that didn't glorify Christ.
And then I lived happily ever after… nope!
Change isn't exactly easy, especially when my friends couldn't understand my convictions. I think that is why Jesus says we must “count the cost” before following Him. Trust me, living for Him is not popular… even in the South. The easy route was to follow the crowd. Yet, this past year, I've chosen to walk with Jesus and in turn, I've experienced real life. It’s amazing! My heart overflows as I tell you that I've discovered joy, wholeness and life in Him. I want to be part of the undivided generation that shines brightly for His Glory!
