There was a time when I would pack my calendar and hop from coffee shop to restaurant to cocktail hour and then back to coffee shop. Events and talking and chatting and getting to know people and... tired yet? And all based on one assumption: networking equals success, and networking means knowing a ton of people.
So what did I learn when I attended a three-hour networking seminar? It was 180 minutes on how to “grow your network” and “get more LinkedIn contacts” and “get friendships that pay.” Promises of tapping into the latest thinking and the trendiest tactics, like most seminars it operated from a scarcity mindset: get as much social capital as you can, as fast as you can. What was I becoming?
Was I that guy?
Of course, I’m not discounting the power of social capital. When we need to fill positions in companies, create resources in our communities, and find solutions to problems, the issue of social capital usually rises to the top quickly. When we have access to relationships based on trust, we create more efficient systems, allocating resources and progressing together into the future.
Let’s say, for instance, you are connecting Sheri and Calvin. Here is what it looks like:
Sheri: Thanks for meeting today after class. I’d like to introduce you to Calvin [insert very nice and true things about Calvin]. I’ve known Calvin since [karate class in sixth grade]. Much of what you said about [techniques, classes, ideas, concepts] reminded me of him, and I think you’d enjoy grabbing a cup of coffee sometime.
Calvin: This morning I was kickin’ it with Sheri [insert some of her credentials and why she is so awesome]. I thought of you at several points. I met Sheri [last year, in 2012, etc.] and she is now [working on… wants to… is pursuing…]. I think you’d be interested in [hearing more, learning more, grabbing coffee, etc]. Be sure to ask her about her Kiba Dachi.
So… Sheri, Calvin; Calvin, Sheri...
Why does this work?
People rarely remember what you say or what you do. They almost always remember how you made them feel. Going out of your way to share your friends and facilitate connections builds trust. It says, “I trust you and I want to give you the best gift ever: a new friendship.” That feels good.
But there is more:
Ever been two places at once? The one who gets to make the connection often gets to be at the meeting without having to “be at the meeting.” How’s that? The first thing Calvin and Sheri will talk about? The common connection point (you). When we connect friends, we really are there in spirit.
Think Long Term
Facilitating connections of this sort add value to our communities over time. We give it away. And it builds. Someone may not be a fit for your current need – but the power of networks is not about getting what you need now, but preparing for a need in the future. In the short-term, it’s about adding tangible value to people today through friendship. When done right, we all benefit.
As we move far beyond the conception of networking as “knowing a lot of people” and move us toward facilitating connections and sharing friends, it looks less like wheel-and-spokes with one person at the center of a revolving wheel of one-way connections. Rather, it’s a beautifully woven piece of fabric. As it grows and we see the power of building social capital, we arrive at a point where we can no longer say “my network.” A network doesn’t belong to someone; someone belongs to a network.
Written by Tim Schuster
This blog post is from the Author's perspective and doesn't speak for brightpeak financial. Contact brightpeak if you want to know more about brightpeak products, and keep in mind that they are not available in all states and there are some limitations (some exclusions and restrictions may apply).
