When Dannah asked if she could share a part of my testimony, I was a little nervous. When I had to tell the tale myself on the radio and in front of a video camera, I was terrified. That's because, as is the case with most testimonies, mine involves areas of my life that aren't fun to talk about. Specifically, even after accepting Jesus as my Savior at the age of 15, I struggled with panic, anxiety, and fear. Several years ago, Dannah prayed with me to receive truth, and I was delivered. But this is a very private part of my life. I wasn't sure I was ready to share it with the thousands of girls who would be reading Lies Young Women Believe.?
When I realized that other people were going to know my story, it made me sweat. The word was out. I used to have panic attacks (and still do on rare occasions). I struggle with fear. I've fallen for lies. I am not perfect.
In that moment of fear, I had a choice. I could nibble on old lies or choose to rest in God's truth. One of the lies that I believed for years was that I couldn't wear my heart on my sleeve or it would be crushed. I was scared to be transparent. I was convinced that if others knew I wasn't perfect, they would turn and run.
What frightened me most about the prospect of sharing my struggle with fear was the fact that I had never heard anyone else admit to the same kind of struggle. I'm weird, I thought. No one else has ever had to deal with this. More importantly I was convinced that if anyone found out that I was struggling, there would be trouble. They wouldn't understand.
Those fears kept me from dealing with the lies I was believing for more than a decade. I was so afraid of being judged that I refused to seek help. Instead I've found that the more I share my story, the more God is glorified. And when others see evidence of God's hand at work and His faithfulness to work things for my good, they find the strength to turn their own junk over to Him.
You have a story worth telling. Your past struggles show the world what God has delivered you from. Your current struggles are the evidence that you still need Jesus to work.
My story is simple. I was a slave to fear until Jesus set me free. What story is God using your life to write?
