“Sometimes it feels like everyone has it all together... except me. How do you encourage people to lead their families in these moments of doubt?"
Comparison is a high-risk way of assessing your parenting and family life. It can easily lead to making decisions based on pride and complacency or fear and anxiety. Seeking to learn from others and to emulate good role models is the sign of a healthy state in heart and mind. However, the ego issues of envy, jealousy or low self esteem have been polluting family relationships ever since Cain slew Abel.
Consider the following: You and your family are unique and special in God’s eyes. Families are like snowflakes, no two are the same. Each family, including yours, is made of one of a kind individuals “fearfully and wonderfully made by God” living in a time and situation that is and will never come again. When you start putting yourself down based on what you think is going on in other families, you will always be acting on inaccurate information.
You will never know what internal price is being paid by others for any external success you might see or know if it is worth it.
A safe standard to use in assessing how you and your family are doing is the one that love provides. Am I loving them the best I can in the choices I make and helping my children learn to do the same?
Pause and Reflect: Take a moment and think of three ways in which your family is different from every other family on the block. List three things that you value as marks of a successful day in your house. Who is doing what? How are people treating one another? List one thing that makes each member of your family special.
Written by Phil Hodges
