Unless you’ve been on Mars or asleep with Rip Van Winkle, you know Radical Mentoring and this blog are focused on mentoring. We’re always telling you what we’ve discovered on the subject and try to help you mentor by sharing the latest things we’ve learned
So here’s a few things we think you should know about mentoring. Some of these may seem obvious, some may seem new. Hopefully, at least one will be insightful . . .
- Mentors have to be motivated by love. You have to love the people you’re mentoring. You can’t fake it. Maybe you start more out of conviction than initiative, but you must be fueled by the fire of God’s love if you’re to be a great mentor. Mentoring out of guilt for "having more" or pity for the "least of these" or drive to be a "do-gooder" or ambition to be looked up to by others won’t cut it for long.
- Mentoring doesn’t work without structure. Not really. There has to be a felt need that’s owned by the mentee, a burden on the mentor to meet that need. Then, there has to be a destination, an agreed-upon plan, process and an end-game. Otherwise, it’s adult adoption rather than mentoring. The mentee feels like a project, the mentor like the answer man. Spiritual fruit will be hard to find.
- You know more than you think you know. Younger men can be smart educationally, gifted relationally, amazingly intuitive or even all of the above. But they lack experience and they know it. And there’s no shortcut to experience. Given the opportunity to tap into the experience of an older guy they think has it, they’re all over it. We older guys with evaluated experience (e.g. wisdom) know a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. It comes out over time through interaction with guys in specific, "real world" situations. We can add a lot of value to their lives if we’ll just open ourselves up to be mentors.
- Mentoring is mandatory. Jesus told us to do it. Matthew 28:19-20. “Make disciples.” We dodge it, outsource it, postpone it, delegate it and ignore it. But that order He gave us in the New Testament -- the one written in red ink -- isn’t going to change. The best option is to change your mind, obey and become an intentional mentor.
- A mentor gets more than he gives. It’s counter-intuitive, but mentors get their socks blessed off. They get ringside seats watching their guys respond to the Lord and live out their callings as "all-in" Jesus-followers. Mentors get to see the smiles on the faces of the wives of their mentees . . . smiles because their husbands have begun to love them with the selfless love modeled by Christ for His church. That makes the kids love and look up to their fathers as they watch Dad "live with their wives in an understanding way." How special to watch your mentees watch their kids get baptized, marry well and find their calling and place in the world.
“It is more blessed to give than to receive,” said Jesus (Acts 20:35)
Mentoring is giving.
Question: What holds you back from stepping forward to mentor the next generation? Really.
